Monday, February 24, 2014


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Mondays.  Sometimes.  Suck!  

Can I get an Amen?

It was about four am when I switched positions this morning still reeling from a fantastic weekend.  However, not three hours later, when the alarm went off, at 7am, the first thing I felt was a large feeling of dread.  Ugh.  
I hope it happens to all of you too (sometimes).  I really hope so.

Today, I woke up and haven't really been able to shake the feeling that I am NOT supposed to be where I am right now.  I understand universally I am exactly where I am supposed to be, but I definitely didn't feel that this morning.  I also know that I'm on a slow and pragmatic journey right now.  As most of you know, I am looking for my plan B (full time position in HR), in order to successfully be able to do my Plan A (writing and expand my "intuitive" coaching and mediumship passion/business).  I grow frustrated from time to time. Patience is very hard for me these days.

I am usually much better at overcoming my dreadfulness emotions and quickly squash them by believing that something wonderful and fantastic is coming my way.  I mean, I think I deserve it.  For some reason, this time, I just can't shake the feeling.  As I was thinking about blog ideas, I thought what a better way to help other sufferers from the same dreadfulness as I have felt all day.

So, if the regular positive self-talk doesn't help, try one of these :

1)  Make a Mental List of Recent Accomplishments.
We all have so many forgotten or under-appreciated daily accomplishments.  We also have all finished gynormous tasks and have taken them for granted.  Make a list of them.  See how they stack up?  And up!  And up!  Sometimes even the smallest accomplishments like gathering all my tax information yesterday can seem like a huge win!

I wrote a book and published it exactly twelve months ago.  Can that still count??  I've only sold about 300 copies, but it's better than 50, right?

2)  Make a Mental List of Things To Look Forward to.
My mom actually suggested this one to me.  Don't forget about that weekend trip to Ojai on the horizon, or a great dinner with a friend on Thursday night.  We all have so many great and exciting things to look forward to, right?  This works fast and even writing about it has helped me feel a wee bit better.  Do it!

3)  Appreciate Friends & Family.
This might speak to you now, or it may not.  I have a totally scrumptious nephew, M, three and a half years old, that recently admitted to his father (my brah-in-law) that I was his BEST Friend.  Um...that makes me feel many things simultaneously.  First, is how effing adorable.  Second, is how much do I adore that kid. Third, is I live 3000 miles a away from him, how can I possibly maintain that status for the remainder of his life?  All of which are completely manageable issues to have, right?  Relish in the love and adoration of your friends and loved ones, especially those under five years old.

4)  Be Grateful for Anything...
I am grateful for House of Cards - Season Two, The Walking Dead, and my little goats.  I am grateful for RuPaul's Drag Race, which actually starts this evening.  I am really happy that someone over at Merriam-Webster's online division decided to have some fun today and showcased the word "SASHAY" as the word of the day.  If you don't watch the show, it is what RuPaul says at the end of every episode to dismiss the last place Drag-testant after a grueling "Lip Sync for their Life" dance-off.  Ru-Mazing!  It's definitely the little things.

5)  This is Temporary!
Other than death and taxes (which I'm doing tomorrow - wish me luck), there is no permanency to anything. I repeat "Nothing" is set in stone in your life.  This always makes me feel better.  That way, I know that little by little, my circumstances will change - 'cause it's inevitable.  This thought gives me so much hope when all other tactics fail.  It truly is the light at the end of my long, dark tunnel.

6)  Reach out for Support.
This is something I never want to do.  I don't like to show anyone weakness - EVER.  This is probably one of the biggest "improvement" areas of my life.  Meaning, I need to work on it!  I really try everything else prior to reaching out to a friend, a boyfriend, or a co-worker.  This is my last ditch effort prior to jumping off the proverbial cliff.  Friends are there for a reason.  Use them!

BONUS:  Take a moment to think about your PETS.  Think about the GREAT pets that you have had and the AWESOME ones which are yet to come!  This always brings a smile to my face.  :)

Now, even after you do all of the above, it is still not a guarantee to feel better.  For me, writing this blog definitely made me feel loads better and I appreciate the platform and creativity to be able to do so.  For me, it's all about hope and looking toward a Spectacular 2014.  Good luck to everyone!  Happy Monday!


1)  As of yesterday, we have confirmed that Skype/GChat sessions with people is a completely viable way for our deceased love ones to come through.  So, let the Skype/Google Chat readings commence!
2)  Big Shout Out today to my bestie, Heather, who is my number #1 reader of the blog.  She always reads my blog the instant she receives it.  I love you.  You're McTastic AND McRad!
3) This morning, I came across an article: 13 Reasons why Baby Goats are the Greatest Things since Sliced Bread on BuzzFeed.  You can also click on the link below to see it.  Some of you have experienced these cutie pies first hand with me!  This is an actual picture of my Vincent (Vinnie) Van Goat at about seven days old.  Yum!

"13 Reasons why Baby Goats are the Greatest..."

A Smile From The Inside Production :)

Tuesday, February 18, 2014


Cirque du Soleil - Totem - Go See It!  NOW!
This show is awesome!  I have seen plenty of Cirque Du Soleil over the past fifteen years, and this was definitely one of my top three shows.  It is jam-packed.  It is fascinating to watch.  And, it is a great time had by all.
The context.  For a Valentine's Day present, my new bf and I took ourselves to see this incredible show.  After leaving Totem, I couldn't help but think about the lessons I learned from the spectacular.  I wish I had learned those big and simple ideas in high school.  Why didn't they teach me this at my Moultonborough Academy?

I don't want to ruin too much for you, but I highly recommend you run (don't walk) to see Totem when it comes to your geographical area.

1) With teamwork, dedication, and focus, WE as humans, can accomplish ANYTHING! 
     There were some beyond belief performances where teamwork was necessary to achieve their mind-boggling results.  It reminds me that as hard as it may be to ask for help sometimes, we can accomplish so much more together with those around us.

2) Laugh whenever possible!
     Les-bi-honest, it is a circus after all.  We can find laughter even in the darkest of moments.  Laughter is great for the heart, mind, body, and soul.  I believe that laughter heals.

3)  Practice makes perfect!
     There is no way you can be a performer in a production like Cirque du Soleil without years and years of practice.  I mean, these performers were out of this world and extraordinary.  It reminded me that without proper practice, you can never master anything in your life.

4)  The show must go on!
     There was one mistake, rather almost fumble, in the show that I caught.  Again, I don't want to ruin too much, but there are these Asian unicyclists.  Bottom line, they were catching bowls on top of their heads in all crazy and silly positions, at various velocities, and from all directions.  One of them caught the metal bowl with her hand (it was at least super close to her head) and quickly placed the bowl in the correct and accurate position.  The audience was soo into it that we all made that "ooooh" "fumble" noise, but instantly forgave her.  After all, she was on a unicycle, pedaling with one foot, and simultaneously throwing and catching bowls.  She was a rock star.  This fantastic Asian performer shook it off instantly and then went on to perform the finale ... flawlessly.  It was crazy good!  We could all learn a great from her "fumble" - don't you agree?

5)  Recognize the beauty all around you in life!
     I know, I know, it's a little gay in all senses of the world, but it's the truth.  None of us stop and smell the roses as often as we should.  It reminded me that we can all move a little slower in life and we can all enjoy the beautiful, absolutely stunning home, we call Earth.

6)  Love like you are skating FAST on a tiny elevated platform!
     Another spoiler alert.  In this act, my favorite, Cirque du Soleil went old school with roller skates.  It was a fantastic pas-de-deux (a dance performance with two protagonists) representing the courtship of love, relationships, and life.  Did I mention that these two performers were on a round 6' X 6' raised platform, spinning at an alarming rate?   Those two characters had no fear whatsoever.  This reminded me to LOVE fearlessly.  Just how we need to dive into love!  (I don't think I breathed through the entire act - it was that scary)  Hmmm...just like love.

7)  Strive for excellence ( to hell with mediocrity )!
     Mediocrity is for the birds.  When you strive for excellence, everything around you shifts.  Excellence is where the challenges arise, where the journey intensifies, and where the outcome is all that much sweeter.  Life is a marathon, not a sprint.  The same with excellence.

In high school, and I paid attention, I believe we are all missing what I call a "Life Skills 101" course.  My course would teach among other life lessons: goal/objective setting, analysis, decision-making, and all of the above.  It's too bad most of us graduate high school without learning the aforementioned lessons.  Albeit, they are a bit more esoteric, but high school is there to give us a foundation, is it not?
I don't know about you, but I definitely need more culture, amazement, and live death-defying art in my life.  I look forward to my next show, dance performance, or spectacular.
Final Thoughts:
1) The biggest news is that the fabulous Trixie Van Goat (Vincent Van Goat's sister) is pregnant.  I will keep you updated and will obviously send pics when available.  Their gestation period (for those enquiring minds) is regularly 3.5 months.  It will be soon!
2)  For some reason, it seems that February 17th is a huge day of Aquarian birthdays.  Shout out to my twin cousins, Hailey and Hannah...and my bf from high school, Heather.  Happy Birthday to everybody else as well!
3)  Courage allows the successful "woman" to fail - and learn powerful lessons - from the failure - so that in the end, she didn't fail at all.  -- Maya Angelou

A Smile From The Inside Production :)

Monday, February 10, 2014


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How was your weekend?  My weekend was exhausting.  This weekend, I was just doing my thang, at one of my best friends' Baby Shower.  One of our best mutual friends planned the incredible, delicious, and elegant event -- and I was just the bitch!  Honestly though, I did whatever was necessary.  Set up.  More bottles of champagne?  Hosting?  Strike down.  Clean up.  Yes, it was exhausting.  Know this, however, I did it because I would do anything for both gals:  the pregnant one or the event planner.  Anything. 
They are my bosom buddies.  They are dear friends.  We have lived through many experiences, good and bad together over the past eight years.  I am honored to call them best friends and I am blessed they are in my life.
A cute little quote which I wanted to include:
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So, how do you know you are a good friend?
Here are SEVEN ways you know you are a good friend.
1)  Their Mother Loves You!
You can feel pretty confident that you are being a good friend when their mother, whenever she sees you, shares with you just how special you are with a warm and sincere embrace.  It doesn't just stop there though.  The mother continues and tells you what a great friend you are, how blessed you are to have each other, AND confesses to you that she (the mother) doesn't worry about her daughter/son as much because she (the mother) knows s/he has you!  So sweet.
2)  Family Contacts. 
I believe you know you are a good friend when you have cell phone and home phone numbers for not only the mother, but the father, the sister, the spouse, and his/her bridal parties.  Doh!
3)  Good News Travels Fast! 
I love it when I am at a party and mutual friends of the "hosts" come up to me and say, "So...Tell me about this new boyfriend of yours??"  At first, I'm like, "Huh?  How did you find out?"  But then, I'm excited and happy that my friend is sorta-bragging about me.  It's a huge compliment, so just go with it!
4)   A Party?  What Can I Do To Help? 
As soon as your bestie tells you about their upcoming party, shower, etc..., you just WANT to help them in any way possible.  You want to attend and enjoy their bachelor/bachelorette parties, weddings, and showers, but you also want to make their lives easier in the process, right?  That is, in my opinion, a true friend.
5)  FEEL lucky and TELL them so As Often As Possible.
It's easy to forget how valuable these people are.  It's easy to take our friends for granted.  Whether we text/FB on a daily basis OR, because of distance, they are the type of friend that whenever you pick up the phone/Skype, the "bond" makes it seem like no time has passed -- both are gems.  Both are cherished.  I don't think most of us realize how lucky we are to have each other in this life.
Lately, I have done some "readings" where young friends have committed suicide or been taken too young.  I have learned some interesting things (I feel another blog coming on...).  The people sitting across from me, no matter what happened, always want to make sure their friends are SAFE and HAPPY.  Their deceased loves ones seem to validate this automatically - always and without prompt.  Bottom line, as often as you can remember, share just how lucky you are.
6)  Mean What You Say!
Over the years, I have noticed that sometimes we say things, but don't really mean them.  For example, if a friend is in a sad place, I've heard people haphazardly comment, "Call me anytime, day or night, and I'll come over!"  On very few occasions, have I actually heard of people actually going over at 3am.  I do it for my friends and when they share those beautiful offers, I expect them to mean it.  Lesbi-honest, if I call my friend at 3am, I'm probably not in the best place, right?  Be there, whenever, wherever!
7)  No judgments!
This is sometimes challenging... to say the least. Some friends (like myself) need to learn the hard way.  While I appreciate unsolicited advice and suggestions, if I am sharing anything, I do NOT want to sense any judgments -- at all.  No matter how messed up you think a decision is, it is NOT your decision to make. Yes, it's definitely hard to watch someone you love make stupid/silly choices, but it's their journey.  That poor mistake in "your" eyes, might lead them to their greatest triumphs and learnings.  We can only hope, right!  Be calm.  Be patient.  Disagree if you must, but there can be no judgments attached.  Besides, who doesn't want to miss a chance to tell their bestie, "I told you so!" and then drop it and move on.  That can be fun too!
So, are you a good friend, according to Seth E Santoro?  There are many many more attributes.  I just wanted to share those which came up for me over this past weekend.
1)  I had a BLAST this past weekend and caught up with some good friends, good acquaintances, and made some new friends.
2)  Do you "pray" or "TALK" with God / The Universe / Allah?  I have just started to talk with my version of God lately, and I know I feel better.  I think my "prayers/hopes/questions" are being answered...and even if the answers come from me, I still feel better.
3)  I forgot that in Ecuador/South America, this Friday is not only Valentine's Day for Lovers, but also it's a wonderful day to celebrate Friends.  So, this week, I am celebrating my friends!
4)  The Walking Dead...?  Are you watching?  You should be!

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A Smile From The Inside Production :)

Monday, February 3, 2014


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Yes, it's been a while.  That is completely true.  Forgive me!

Yes, I have given my word that I would write a blog soon!  It's time.

It's been a crazy two months with lots of ups and downs.  I won't bore you with details just yet, but let's just say that there has been little inspiration to write...anything.  Even my books have suffered a little bit.  Now, that's all going to change.

Without further ado, here's what I learned "THE HARD WAY" in 2013:
1)  How-To Recognize RED FLAGS for Potential Partners
    Quickie:   You all know what I'm talking about, right?  There were a lot of broken hearts...usually mine however.  It has been a challenging road, but I am almost certain that I can now catch the "red flags" associated with persons who carry a great deal of baggage.  Ultimately, I want someone who's baggage is as light as mine.  That's hard, especially... these days.
2)  How I Learned to Re-Create my Parents Relationship in HEALTHY WAYS
    Quickie:  With tons of therapy and self-work, I now recognize that I was attempting to re-create my parents' beautiful relationship in any way that I could -- even if it was destructive and unhealthy.  No more!  Thank God! 
3)  How I NEED to RETURN Home 4X Per Year
    Quickie: My nephew is the COOLEST three-and-a-half year old in the world.  It makes me so unbelievably happy to be around him, play soccer with him, laugh with him, etc... And now, with my new niece, I want to be a solid, stable, and dynamic part of their awesome lives.
4)  JUST BECAUSE someone may have more years of experience, doesn't mean their actions/behaviors are necessarily correct AND Two wrong-doings don't make a right-doing!
    Quickie:  This was one of the hardest lessons I learned this year.  I lost a very dear friend because we were both stubborn and emotionally stressed.  I did wrong.  This person did wrong.  Two wrongs definitely don't make a right.  Hopefully, forgiveness will be forthcoming in 2014.
5)  The ONLY way to LOVE is...HARD.
   Quickie:  I think this is pretty self-explanatory.  You must give love and TONS of it in order to receive love.  I'm talking about good love.  Good.  Strong.  Love.  It took me all year to re-appreciate this lesson.
6)  How I NEED Payment Terms & Agreements with ANY company!
    Quickie:  As a consultant, it can be challenging AND it can, at unique times, be Feast OR Famine.  I experienced both.  Toward the end of last year, I entered into a working situation with a company and we did not have clearly defined payment terms NOR did we ever agree on the Consulting Agreement.  I was burned and burned hard.  I have learned my lesson.  Thank you.
7)  Accept the GIFTS Given to You...No Matter How Bizarre!
    Quickie:  My life is changing as we speak.  It's overwhelming and never a dull moment.  Corporate America is hopefully waning in my life - or soon to be.  Let the writing, mediumship, and spa/healing center adventure begin!
8)  I am NOT going to get Rich with a 9-5 job.
   Quickie:  I think this is pretty self-explanatory too.  You must be creative.  Always inventing.  Always thinking.  Hopefully, some of my decisions made from desperation the end of last year will prove fruitful in the coming months!  Fingers crossed.
All in all, I learned so much about myself this past year.  I pray and hope that I remember these lessons along my 2014 journey.  I want to sincerely thank all of my friends for their continued support, openness, and love to my crazy and incredible path in this life.  Amazing things are happening more and more!! 
1)  I must reiterate how grateful I am for all of the above lessons.  Some could have been easier to learn, but I have a special knack of learning the hard way.  I'm sure at least one person out there can relate?
2)  2014 will be the best year of my life.  I'm sure of it AND I will do everything in my power to make that happen.
3) And with The Walking Dead, RuPaul's Drag Race, and House of Cards back, I'm reeling!
4)  I think I may be falling in love with someone too.  It's all very exciting.  More to come soon!
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A Smile From The Inside Production :)