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I know. I know. I broke up with someone very special eight months ago, get over it already.
I'm definitely in a funk right now. I notice the smiles just aren't radiating from inside as they normally do. And, as most of you know me intimately well, that is definitely an indication that there's an issue going on inside of yours truly.
I have tried "The Catapult Approach"...getting rid of everyone else's negative or exhausting ju-ju. I have tried focusing on the following incredible and amazing buzz/meditation words, "Opportunity, Abundance, Family, Love, Creativity, and Success. "Success" always seems to pick me up just a smidgen.
I have tried dating. People can be so weird and freak out over the most unusual of circumstances. Perhaps I'm too intense for some people, or too together for others, or perhaps that which makes me unique is that which some people find unattractive or just not cute!
On the flip side, I find that people reveal themselves to you rather quickly. In fact, within one or two conversations, I can usually weed them out -- Good for me or Same old Same Old. Is that my issue? Do I jump to conclusions to quickly? Given my past, and the fact that I am usually attracted to "bad boys" (aka people who have come from an extremely colorful past, and have not necessarily healed from all or most of their wounds), I am weary with my precious free time. Therefore, you have two, three opportunities tops to make an HONEST and SINCERE impression.
Within the LGBTQ culture, I now understand that my loneliness only gets fed by gay Apps that help me find other lonely gay men just looking for Safe and Sound instant gratification. It's a great confidence boost, 'cause I get a lot of attention (wink!), but at the end of the day, it only hurts me.
I want to find a partner and create a partnership and family...NOW! Easy killer. Perhaps I'm too eager??
I miss having someone to come home to at the end of every night. I miss having someone to cuddle up next to on a couch and just hold hands. I could go on and on, but I think you get the point. I very much look forward to shifting into my next "mindset" -- to be open and ready for love.
I know who I am. I embrace who I am. And I endeavor to inspire the world to be who they are.
As a coach, even when I'm feeling lonely inside my own head/life, I can interestingly enough hold the space for someone else. I am amazingly effective in this state and continue to learn from each and every client.
Sometimes I have answers. Sometimes I don't. This is one of those times when I am not quite sure how to help myself. I KNOW I will get through this and I KNOW that this too shall pass. So, for now, I'm just sad. I'm allowed.
We all get lonely from time to time. It's 100% completely normal and especially after a break up. Give yourself a break. As I'm telling you this, I'm also telling myself this.
1) I can't wait to find a crazy love, filled with passion, love/hate, intimacy (sexual and emotional), and spontaneous. I like thinking about that.
2) This past week, I created a "My Path To Fulfillment" vision board. It is exactly what it says. It's a great tool which brings me to smile every time I go over and review my little stickies.
3) This week, I am grateful for my friends and family who are always there for me when I need them. Thank you!
A Smile From The Inside Production :)