Saturday, March 31, 2012

IN MY FABULOUS GAY BACKYARD...


VINCENT (Vinnie) Van Goat
Meet 1/2 of the newest addition to our family.  This is Vincent Van Goat (a/k/a Vinnie), the wether.  He and his twin sister, Trixie Van Goat, the doe-ling (below) are now 19 days old today.  They are amazing, quite possibly the cutest things ever.  I mean...i thought that puppies were cute, but these kidds are ridiculous.  Here's the other 1/2.

Belle & Trixie Van Goat
What do you have in your backyard?  I bet it's not like mine...at all.

What possessed us to get Goats, you may ask.  I really don't fucking now.  My partner wanted to expand our family by one.  However, all goat breeders (if they are good) will make sure you get 2 goats, as they are herding animals...therefore they need to be with at least one other goat.  So, we got 2.  Anyway...my partner and i checked out all of the goat-ing sights.  I told him we could get the smallest goats that exist.    Those are Nigerian Dwarf Dairy Goats.  So, we checked out all sorts of sights...and I found ready-to-go kidds at GoatHead Farms.  It was an amazing farm with 20+ goats in Utah.  Fortunately, they were only 400 miles away.  The other kidds available all had to be Shipped.  Don't even ask me how they do that!!!  Anyway...we drove to La Verkin, UT, and then went to nearby ZION National Park, which is absolutely breath-taking.  You know us gays, always making a romantic road trip out of it...and voila!!! we brought the kidds back in the trunk of Rav 4 with Maggie (who just licked them to death, really...).  When we arrived home after tons 'o traffic later, we Aveeno'ed them straight away, so they would have less goat smell and more Aveeno smell.  It worked...and they have managed (somehow) to stay amazing clean over the last 6 days.

Let me tell you some things about goats.  When i was shoveling manure in highschool, in exchange for boarding my horse, there were 2 goats on the property.  They were the most annoying animals ever.  Especially, after cleaning the entire barn, 3-4 hours of work sometimes, they would purposefully come in and poop and pee everywhere.  In case you don't know, Goats (like deers) drop pellets...but about 75-100 round pellets in one "sitting" (if you will).  I HATED them.  So, naturally, i was reluctant to get goats.  But...i feel i have matured...and I am going to wee-wee pad train these bad boys, if it's the last thing i do.  Goats are smarter than dogs.  I'm not kidding (no pun intended).  They already somewhat know their names...and I am going to teach them everything that Maggie knows and more!!!  Also, just so you know, it's a good idea to dis-bud them (removing their horns), so that they don't get aggressive with them and/or catch them in fences and rip them off.  That would be bad!!  Lastly, our little boy, is currently being wethered (neutered).  Because i know you are curious...in the goat-ing world, they tie rubber bands around the balls.  Within 8-12 hours (of slight pain), the balls lose all sensation...and about 4-6 weeks later, the balls shrivel up and fall off.  Great!  I can't wait for that!    

Also, in my backyard, I have three hens..."Griselda" (the Diana Ross look-a-like fro queen), "Daisy" (the Southern Belle), and "Grandma Sparkle" (appropriately and respectively named after the 94-year old character address "Sparkle" that used to live in this house).  I just call them "the girls".  The girls produce anywhere between 16 and 20 eggs per week at the ripe old age of 8 months old.  They can be loud.  They can be crazy.  And sometimes, i'm sure, the neighbor's hate us.  BUT...they are truly amazing and quite fun to watch actually...  And i know that they are part of our gay family because when the girls come over once/twice per day and "assume the position".  What do i mean by that, you might ask???  They literally get into a sexual position with their "pussies" in our faces.  So, my partner and I kindly oblige... and shake them up a little bit.  The girls adore it, especially Daisy (the red one here below).  Within 5 seconds, they ruffle all of their feathers and shake enthusiastically, as if to orgasm.  It's rather crazy.  They are whores just like their owners.  Yay!  A job well done.

Daisy, Griselda, Sparkle (left to right)

This past week, we were really busy back there.  We are re-shaping our backyard to be the amazing gay-friendly spot for all to come and play.  We might even charge admission with our farm-ily.  I am proud to say that I actually ROTATILLED the entire 4,000 square foot backyard all by myself.  It was quite the feat.  I felt so STRAIGHT afterwards it wasn't even funny.  Well...perhaps it was a bit funny.  But I did feel manly and like i didn't need to go the gym...(so, that was a huge plus!!!)  Then, we planted SOD, which i had heard this word my entire life and only last week confirmed the meaning...it's pre-grown grass sillies!!!  It looks f'ing fabulous if i do say so myself.  Even my father didn't think it was possible...but coming from a long-line of professional landscapers and vegetable/herb sellers definitely has its perks every once in a while.  Thanks, Dad!  I must admit though, unlike my childhood, i REFUSE to WEED.  Nowadays, there are amazing sprayers that are non-harmful to hens, goats, and dogs...but kill all the weeds necessary.  I don't really understand how that works, but i digress.

Additionally, in our backyard...we have a coop, appropriately named "The Best Lay in Town", a composter (with no name...yet), a beautiful vegetable garden (which right now resembles a bunch of graves ready for burial), two lounge chairs, and a beautiful matching umbrella-set.  You know, the outdoor octagonal cedar table with 5-6 chairs...and an umbrella.  Lastly, we have a mother-in-law garage (where we would put evil step-mothers or evil sisters).  I promise when we are done and the grass is starting to grow...i will take a picture and show you my fab gay backyard.

"BEST LAY IN TOWN"  Coop

OK...so, this might not have been the most thrilling or entertaining...but it is our crazy farm-ily.  OH yeah...and Maggie, our 23-lb French Bulldog, is now going through a bit of depression, as the goats are sleeping in our kitchen (at night).  Maggie doesn't understand this.  I am doing everything i can to make Maggie feel special, to no avail.  Any ideas???

I know I could be speaking about how I didn't win the MegaMillions or the horrible tragedy that is Trayvon Martin, but I really felt that this week, since this is an introduction into a gay man's life, it would be more appropriate to introduce you to my farm-ily (lol).

video

In closing, I had a dream last night that Oprah saw my blog and LOVED it...and overnight it became a success.  It was pretty awesome!!!

If you like what you read, share with everyone.  If you hate what you read...keep reading and tell no one. If you want some goats, email me...we have already had 2 people ask for their kidds in 12 months from now.  Oh yeah...did i mention that we need to breed Trixie in order to start collecting MILK and then making GOAT CHEESE.  We really can't wait!!!

THE SILENT HEROES OF THE WORLD...(a definite tear jerker)




Every now and again, a story comes across my email which is just too amazing  not to share.

My question is: Would you have made the same choice ?

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended.   After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question:  'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection’.  Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do.  Where is the natural order of things in my son?'

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who is mentally and physically disabled, comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'  Then he told the following story:

Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning..'

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt.. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.  In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.  In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.  Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.  However, as Shay stepped up to the Plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.  The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.

The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.  As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.  The game would now be over.

The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.  Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.  Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates.  Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first!  Run to first!'  Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.

He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.  Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!'  Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.  By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball. The smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.  He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.

Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.  All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'.  Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third!  Shay, run to third!'  As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'

Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team.  'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.

Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

The End.

Although i would like to say one thing more...everything in nature is perfect... those children, that day, were heroically perfect in what they did for little Shay. See!!!  

If you like this, pass it on...even if you don't like it, pass it on.  someone you know will!

Friday, March 23, 2012

EVEN ANNE HATHAWAY IS PART OF OUR FAMILY!!!

Hi!

Here are two fabulous videos on Gay Voices on Huffington Post.  

For those of you who don't me very well, I was not always a fan of Anne Hathaway.  But each passing movie and/or production which is a part of, my respect and adoration grows ever stronger, every day.



And i had NO idea who Kevin Smith is...  From the jersey, i thought he was some sports guy.  My apologies...Again, Hi...I'm gay and i don't do sports!!!  Check him out!


Let's add them to my being decent human beings pile of heroes, please!

Thanks for your support.  I love you all!

Seth.


Tuesday, March 20, 2012

WHO ARE THE REAL HEROES IN MY GAY GAY WORLD...?

Me...without air brushing...

WHO ARE MY HEROES?

A Hero, by definition, is a person of distinguished courage or ability admired for their brave deeds.  A Hero by my definition, is a person, lead by something inside, who goes above and beyond others to speak when no one else might speak; to act when others might not act; and to fight when only absolutely necessary; all in an effort to help change/shift the world, one person at a time.

Well...Let's start with the obvious, more mainstream ones:

1) Ellen DeGeneres' stands as a force of absolute goodness for all human beings, not just because she is Gay, but because she is an amazing human being.  Take JC Penney, for example, Ellen was a lady, standing up when she needed to (and if y'all haven't seen the JCPenney commercials, they are hilarious...here are the OUTTAKES!!!).  It was just a matter of time for the Director to be fired and now this... One Million Mom's Group concedes.  That's what i'm talking about!!!

(Funny aside...i thought her website was Ellen.com.  Turns out it belongs to a spiritual woman named Ellen Egge, and i wonder if she's been on the Ellen show yet...LOL)

2) The First Lady...Even she, over the past few days, has been somewhat vocal about the right to LOVE WHOMEVER WE CHOOSE...i have a feeling she will be way-more outwardly supportive of Gay Marriage long before President Obama is.  Sigh.  Nonetheless, i LOVE having her on my side.  Wives have an extremely powerful and persuasive way of shifting the minds of their slower counterparts.  Don't you agree?  You go, First Lady Michelle!!! 

3) RuPaul Andre Charles...(a/k/a RuPaul).  Correct me if i'm wrong, but RuPaul is helping transform the world of acceptance through the glamorous and fab world of drag.  He is an amazing example of good people doing extraordinary things while bestowing a bit of self-love, self-acceptance, and spirituality, one drag-at-a-time.  Condragulations, RuPaul! 

(and don't forget to watch RuPaul's Drag Race.  You would think i do promotion for the show, but I just love it that much!!!)

4) Tyler Perry.  His shocking reveal on Oprah as having been molested by multiple persons growing up.  This kind of comedy took an unprecedented leap of courage when he unmasked the truth about his past, and has pledged to help shift the world, one man at a time.  I have to be honest, i was not a big fan prior to that day on Oprah...but now i am.  :)

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Here are what i like to call SILENT HEROES:

1) RONNY in TEL AVIV - In a world where one Israeli man can change the world with his new website: IsraelovesIran.com, Ronny intends to replace the world's genuinely-agreed perspective that Israel "hates" Iran, and shifting that into his beautiful campaign where Israel "hearts" Iran.  I don't think I need to say too much about how much courage this must have taken.  Go, Ronny!!!

2) It's the 6-month mark for the DADT repeal...woohoo!!!  Coming out in the US Navy, Marines, Airforce, Reserves must be extremely frightening and beyond scary...these particular persons who COME OUT in the MILITARY are also my heroes.

3) These Random Strangers who speak up to other random strangers are my heroes.  This is ABC's What Would You Do...  (P.S.  make sure you are alone when you watch this, as i cried non-stop for 5 minutes).  I don't even know if I would say something, given the conversation to be within an ear's shot of myself.  However, after seeing this, you can bet your bippy that I will say something.  For sure!  Would you say something?

4) And "NevermoreFTW" who created this...How to Explain Gay Marriage to an Idiot.  This diagram helps the world go round with a comedic but poignant take on the issue of Gay Marriage.

                                                 --------------------------------------------------------

MY THOUGHTS:
As many of you know, my vision/mission in this life is...TO INSPIRE THE WORLD ONE-BY-ONE TO SMILE FROM THE INSIDE OUT.  I live this in everything i do.  Those of you who have known me for 2 minutes, 2 weeks, 2 months, 2 years, or 20 years can attest to the fact that this is how i live my life.  I have always set a great example as an American, a man, a gay man, a Jew, etc... no matter where i am in the world.  (And believe me, I have definitely had my moments...in Mexico and India only. lol.).   It is NEVER easy to do the best thing OR the WIN-WIN for all.  In fact, most often, it is the hardest because sometimes others haven't the capacity to understand anything other than themselves and their own POV (Point of View).  It is difficult to go against the mold, take the Road Less Traveled, and grind against the chalkboard.  (Sorry if that visual hurts anyone).   I pride myself on my ethical and moral compass (fuck ethical or moral...it's just my very own non-judgmental inside-conscience).  I always lead with my heart and then my intelligence.  I believe walking and being the example is the only way to be...for me and for everyone else too.  Don't you agree???  I hope someday to be a hero to 100s of millions of people. 

Who are your heroes?  Similar to mine?  Let us all know!!!

Remember:  If you like it, share with everyone...if you hate it, tell no one.


Oh and one more thing...
And for GOD'S SAKE, KIRK...SHUT UP ALREADY!  NO ONE CARES!!! (HE'S BACK AND STUPIDER THAN EVER).  I must say you and people like you are the ultimate destructive force that believe they do God's bidding and judge on His behalf.  I ask you nicely to return to the 80's has been stars closet of we don't really care anymore what you think.  (This will be the last time i post about him...well...i hope it is)

Thanks everyone for your amazing support, feedback, and encouragement over the last month.  It means a great deal to me.  Hopefully, i am learning week-to-week more about maintaining a blog.  Keep the feedback coming!!!

Sincerely yours,
Seth.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

I GOT AN HIV TEST TODAY...!!!


CLICK HERE TO COPY PIC

WE TAKE LIFE TOO SERIOUS SOMETIMES!!!  DON'T YOU AGREE!

Today, I got an HIV test in West Hollywood.  Of course, the sexiest guy possible lead me into a room where he proceeded to ask a LOT of questions.  Why do i always get the totally sexy guy?   He always appears sympathetic and genuine while in the room with me, but i know he inevitably thinks i'm a slutbag whore no matter what my story is...even if it is the truth.  I always go into the room with plans to make up a great hawt story of reckless behavior, but unfortunately can never pull it off.  Apparently, he relayed to me that the results come back in less than 20 minutes.   OK.  so, what do i do now?  You leave the room and your mind starts to panic.  Waiting those 20 minutes can be quite brutal, especially if you might have reason to believe anything other than I'm negative, i'm negative, i'm negative.  AND, having an ex-boyfriend who seroconverted while in a relationship of 2 years in the not-so-distant past, makes me a bit hypersensitive than perhaps others would be.  Duh! 

So...i walk over and pick up my dry cleaning.  What?  It was right next door...and I needed to occupy my mind by completing a physical task.  (perhaps that is an OCDism).  I prayed that there would be a long line to keep me occupied, that they would have made a tiny mistake, or anything so that i would have to wait a bit longer.  Nope.  No line.  Nothing wrong.  Only 7 minutes, i think to myself...that fucking sucks.

Naturally, to pass the time, i walked into the Circus of Books porn/book/magazine shop, on the other side of the HIV testing clinic, where there is actually a 15-minute maximum limit of browsing for all of the dirty magazines.  I love it!   What felt to me like 20 minutes in there was really only 8 more minutes.  Are you fucking kidding me?  I still have to wait!!! 

Lastly, with 5 painstaking minutes left, i return to the testing site, sit down.  For some reason, i just could not look at my phone...i know it sounds weird, but i just couldn't concentrate on anything other than my clean clothes and dirty magazines.  LOL.

The next thing i know the sexy guy returns and asks me into his office. (I guess my OCD, extremely  active inner dialogue, and thoughts took up the 5 final minutes of torture.)  Upon entering the room, I have that awkward moment does he shut the door, or do i?  He ended up closing the door.  Thank God, he got right to it.  I don't know why...but i just forgot to breathe for a minute.  When he told me my results, i felt myself finally take a breathe in.  Wow!  It's over.  Thank God.  I don't have to wait anymore.  I guess those 20 minutes wasn't quite so bad.  Of course, I babbled a bit, may have mentioned my blog to him (LOL) and flirted with him - a bit more - prior to leaving, as he now thinks i'm not the quite the slutbag whore he thought i was initially, and he could have even been interested in the cute young non-dirty/dirty boy.  Too bad, i'm taken and madlessly in love with someone else.  LOL.

Btw, i'm negative.  

Question for everyone out there: Is it nerve-wracking for everyone?  Gays?  Straights?  Trannies?   What about my lesbians out there?  My bet is not as much for lesbians!!!  Let me know.  I'm very very interested.

What i really want to say here is life gets so serious at times.  In a world where in 24 hours, 5 states including Maine, send Gay-Marriage to the ballot, Pennsylviania government pulls a very anti-same sex marriage amendment from consideration, Gillian Anderson comes out as bisexual (i knew it!  Thank you, Towleroad!), and Man Vs. Wild star Bear Grylls gets the axe from the Discovery Channel, we all need to laugh more.  In fact, we need to laugh so hard our belly aches or we start crying.  Those are the best laughs of all.  Are they not?

Morals of the Story...
1) Don't wait too long between HIV tests; 
2) Don't partake in reckless behaviors...even if drugs are involved.
3) Laugh until you cry or your belly aches!!!
4) If you like my blog, tell everyone.  If you hate my blog, tell no one.


If you do enjoy my blog...let people know or join my google group:  

AND NEVER FORGET THE FOLLOWING...NEVER...

SEE PIC HERE



Tuesday, March 6, 2012

GROWING PAINS...MY ASS!!! -- GROW UP KIRK CAMERON...




TOPIC AT HAND:
Have you heard?  Mike Seaver (a/k/a Kirk Cameron) was interviewed by Piers Morgan on or about March 2, 2012.  Some of you may remember that cute, young Kirk Cameron became a devout-Jesus follower shortly after the show ended, most likely in a solemn effort to prevent him from destruction...unfortunately, like too many other childhood actors :(  Either way, Christianity, at its base, is about love for all, even the "sinners" -- which is everyone.  (Even Jesus, i mean, i have my doubts...a 32-year old man, that's a virgin, please!!!)  I digress.  Just to be clear, this is not a discussion about religiosity and gay-ness.  That's for a later topic.  This discussion is about having a celebrity voice and using it to blatantly belittle and insult an entire section of the American people.  Can i get an Amen?  (Have you checked out RuPaul's Drag Race yet?)

It became very clear, very fast that Kirk Cameron is not the awesome, liberal kid we all grew up with on tv.  I am actually saddened by his words.  In the interview, he stated:  "Homosexuality is unnatural, detrimental and ultimately destructive to so many foundations of civilization."  It's clear to me that Kirk Cameron has Not Grown up Yet... (Snippet of Interview)

I think Piers Morgan was as shocked as everyone else is right now.  Piers continued the conversation and Kirk went on to say many things about his anti-gay feelings on Gay Marriage and if his kids came out gay.   As Kirk continued to speak, it become glaringly aware that out of his 6 children, 1-2 is probably gay.  Uh-oh, Kirk.  Lord knows i always thought you were gay!   And for their sake, i hope you, Kirk, have some major Growing Pains prior to that day.  I am so disappointed in you, Kirk Cameron.  You should be know better.  Having grown up myself watching Growing Pains, a television show which demonstrated DIVERSE issues facing a modern day family in the late 80s/early 90s, i am shocked he didn't learn better.


THE NEW FACTS:  
The unfortunate thing is, if roughly 60% of Americans are in favor of gay marriage (Huff Post metric), then there are roughly 40% that are against it.  Those 40% are composed of 65+ agre group as well as Tea Party-ers (NBC News/Wall Street Journal Gay Marriage Poll).

MY THOUGHTS:
He says he's a Christian man.  I think that's a cop out to hide behind your religion.  I know plenty of Christians that also believe in Gay marriage.  First of all, i believe that it is our jobs as human beings to create and promote peace and acceptance to all. I"m sure that you would all agree with me, right?  He says he has a passion for all people and peace.  I say Bull Shit.  Where am I going here?  I'm not quite sure.  To be honest, i do believe in the freedom of speech.  My point is:  I believe when you are a celebrity, you have even more responsibility to use that stardom for the betterment of society, not the furtherment of bigotry and discrimination.  Do you agree?  Or am i expecting too much???


THE AFTERMATH:
I am happy to report though he has received quite a great deal of slack...Kirk Cameron Controversy.  i do secretly love that if you type in "Kirk Cam" on Google, the second hit that comes up is "Kirk Cameron Anti-Gay".  In his shoddy defense, Kirk made a statement that we should all be be able to debate these things with "greater love and support".  What type of Love and Support is he showing with his comments???  And he uses the word, "Tolerance"?  I really hate that word.  I TOLERATE my dog parking from time to time.  I TOLERATE the fact that I do NOT have a huge walk-in closet.  I TOLERATE that straight men wear those silly Hawaiian shirts on all vacations and I don't make a big deal of it.  The word is "ACCEPTANCE".  Clearly, Kirk is not even that advanced to accept people as they are.  

The response to his interview with Piers, have gone viral and have been defended vehemently by even his co-stars.  GLAAD has barraged their front page with messages from his Tracey Gold.  My favorite though is MSNBC's response to the craziness:  Who's in Worse Trouble...Limbaugh or Cameron?


FINAL THOUGHTS:
I mean, really, what do we care what Kirk says anyway...if you look at Kirk Cameron's IMDB page, he's a washed-up has been.  He should take a lesson from George Clooney and Brad Pitt!  Coverage on CBS News and Huffington Post.

I know this was supposed to come out tomorrow...i was very upset about this...and needed to blog right away.  I consider myself to be a very patient, inspirational, and encouraging person.  I am beyond passionate about inspiring the world, one by one, to accept everyone else.



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